


we can’t lose hope just yet

by mind_boggling



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: F/F, First Kisses, discovering sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 06:05:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13183917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mind_boggling/pseuds/mind_boggling
Summary: She interrupts Callie almost immediately. “No-one has ever fought for me the way you have”It silences her. Callie turns to look toward her, their hands still intertwined beside her as her tears spill over the edges of her eyelids. Ximena’s smile is watered and she sniffs. “I mean it, Callie. Everyone, they just leave. They leave me and Poppy and we’ve only ever had each other. I fight for her because she’s my baby sister, I have to. But nobody ever fights for me, especially in the way that you do”





	we can’t lose hope just yet

**Author's Note:**

> a callie/ximena fic for my longtime friend zoe @maiamtchls on twitter! i love u girly. i hope you like this, it’s not my best work but anything for you <33

She sits on the pew and her legs are jittery. Her feet hurt from the heels she’s wearing, but she’s too anxious to take them off. The sirens glisten in the distance, colours flashing against the stain glass as her breath hitches in her throat with fear.

Ximena’s asleep, from what she gathers, the hesitant but rhythmic breathing escaping from her nose from next to her. AJ’s crashed out on another pew behind them. But Callie can’t even focus on sleep anymore— the sirens are in her ears at every moment of silence, her feet pounding with pain from running into the Church frantically. 

“Callie?” 

She flinches, a mangled breath escaping her throat as her eyes widen at Ximena sitting up next to her. Placing her hand on her chest, she takes a deep breath and attempts to still her racing heart. “You gave me a heart attack”

Amongst all the pain and suffering, she still manages a smile. “You were really off in your own world there, weren’t you?” Ximena asks, clutching her knees to her chest. Callie just nods, eyes averting back to the organs at the front of the Church. It’s something she focuses on without really looking at what it is— somewhere she can just place her eyes.

“Sorry,” Callie says in response. “I’m just...” she stops. Pauses. Ximena’s looking at her, a small frown on her face whilst Callie ponders her thoughts. Shaking her head, she speaks again, “Scared doesn’t even come into the question compared to how you must be feeling” 

Ximena shakes her own head. “We’re all scared, Callie. But we can’t let that fear control us and suppress us. Yes, if I walk out of that door, I could be detained. And yes, that scares me. But it doesn’t rule my life, and I will never let it do so”

Callie’s the one to smile now. Wilted and watery, but she keeps her tears at bay as Ximena takes hold of her hand as it lays between the two of them on the pew. “Callie, I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me the last few weeks”

Her grip tightens on Callie’s hand, her heart fluctuating inside her rib cage. “Don’t be stupid, I didn’t-“

She interrupts Callie almost immediately. “No-one has ever fought for me the way you have” 

It silences her. Callie turns to look toward her, their hands still intertwined beside her as her tears spill over the edges of her eyelids. Ximena’s smile is watered and she sniffs. “I mean it, Callie. Everyone, they just leave. They leave me and Poppy and we’ve only ever had each other. I fight for her because she’s my baby sister, I have to. But nobody ever fights for me, especially in the way that you do”

Callie clears her throat when she realises she’s staring at Ximena. Her eyes avert quickly, her shirt dotted with escaped tears. “It’s just-“ she starts. “It’s natural instinct. Being someone in such a broken system, you feel like- you’re... saved when a family comes around and...’wants’ you, I guess. I guess, I felt saved when Lena drove me home from juvie that day. It’s hard to explain, it’s just- all a mess. But I’ll never be more thankful for the opportunity to go out and try to save others, too”

“I never asked you to save me, Callie,” Ximena answers, “Especially risking your own life and breaking the law in doing so”

“Like I said,” Callie replies quickly, with a shrug. “Instinct. I, for some reason, launch myself into these situations with such danger, so many risks, and half the time I don’t even know why. Half the time, it’s not even for myself, it’s for another person”

Ximena smiles, placing a hand on Callie’s cheek instinctively. “That’s what makes you such a great person, despite what you believe. Despite what your mind is telling you, what your insecurities make you believe. You are a good person, Callie. I wouldn’t have even made it this far without you”

It’s a weird feeling, that erupts within the pit Callie’s stomach. She’s no stranger to intimacy, fearful- yes, but this is nothing new to her. She’s been this close to AJ, to Aaron, even Wyatt- this intimacy is an old friend lacing it’s ghostly fingers around her skin. But it feels different. Different when Ximena’s fingers brush her cheek, her legs scoot closer to Callie’s on the pew. 

Their foreheads are touching, Callie at a complete loss of words at this point. She unlaces her fingers from Ximena’s hand, smoothing them along her arm and up toward her face, mirroring herself and cupping Ximena’s cheek. It’s foreign, so strange, but it’s something that she wants and suddenly can’t draw herself away from.

Ximena’s eyes are closed, but Callie can’t miss this.

Her lips touch Callie’s first, drawing her closer with her hands as Callie kisses back slowly. Her heart is dancing in her chest, a different kind of adrenaline running through her veins. Something that finally feels right, something that she never felt with AJ, with Aaron, with Wyatt. A sense of freedom within her own skin, as Ximena traces her face and her neck with her hands, Callie’s hands in her hair, falling back into the pew, together; tumbling together.

The kind of intimacy Callie is used to is frightening. It’s scary, even off-putting, to just think about. But with Ximena, the two of them laying on the pew, arms wrapped around each other as they drift to sleep, the sirens becoming a distant sound in Callie’s ears- it’s a home she didn’t know she had. 

A home evolved of a beating heart and a wistful smile.

**Author's Note:**

>  **title:** song lyrics from ‘ _surefire_ ’ by _john legend_
> 
> find me elsewhere:
> 
>  **twitter:** vanlangs  
>  **tumblr:** bisexualieberman


End file.
